The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul

...has now started in relation to the BVC. I feel in a bit of a lull, a little bit aimless, not really knowing where I'm going. Drifting. Maybe it's the drink. Hopefully it will soon pass. I do have a reading week coming up next week which, to me, seems utterly pointless given that we don't actually have a huge amount of reading to be done – most of the work is skill based, research based. There's so far been not need to commit any facts to memory. Either that, or there has been a need and I haven't picked up on it and, in fact, I'm slowly drifting into the realms of being merely "competent." We can't have that, now can we? Being competent is getting 60%. It follows therefore that you can be 40% wrong... 40% incompetent. If that's the case, I hope no 'competent' lawyer ever represents me. Shocking stuff.

Customer surveys! Yes, a great way to pass a few minutes, earn some points towards some Amazon/HMV vouchers, and even take part in product sample. Oooh, exciting. Today's customer survey, courtesy of Toluna, will set me up with a nice, free shaving product to test. Even if I don't get it, the survey's certainly amused me with its questions...

Set C – Thinking about hair removal – please choose one of the following:

• The look I achieve by grooming is how I attract others
  
• I just do the minimum required to have an acceptable appearance
• I feel a lot better about myself if I have shaved
  
• I love the feeling of being really smooth and clean shaven all over my body
  

Who comes up with these? Genius.

And finally, my laptop's playing up. It's out of warranty, but I've only had it a year and a half. Going to throw the Sale of Goods Act in Shop Acer's direction and see what happens. I suspect they'll try and disclaim liability. This country.

-AP

Even the RSPCA are at it now...

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/law/article6868765.ece#cid=OTC-RSS&attr=989864

They should hook up with Baranardo's...

And, as a result, they're liable to pay £1.3m in costs, which is a terrible shame because the bottom line is they are a charity and this'll be a massive blow for the good work that they do do.

Barnardo’s, call yourself a charity?

My friend is approaching a pivotal point in a long running feud with the charity Barnardo's which could leave her homeless. The basic background is as follows, some details may be wrong as I didn't take it all in, but essentially:

Her grandmother made a couple of wills before passing away. In one of the wills, she left the house to Barnardo's. In another, it was left to the family. Barnardo's are claiming that the will which left the house to the family was written when the grandmother was not of a sound state of mind, and this is true to some extent – she was very on and off. Details are sketchy because her solicitor is either rubbish or being reserved, but it seems Barnardo's do have a leg to stand on, but the situation is entirely novel and it's far from certain.

Whatever the outcome may be, I think it's disgusting that Barnardo's are actually taking it this far to court. Even if they do have a valid (or semi-valid) claim to the house, what kind of charity would pursue it knowing full well that it would make the current occupiers homeless and almost undoubtedly financially cripple them? It's awful, awful behaviour and I really hope that the judge sees sense and denies the claim outright. Or, if he grants Barnardo's ownership I sincerely hope he still gives possession to the family.

If anyone has any thoughts on this I'd like to hear them. Can a charity, a volunteer receiving a gift, have a greater title over a family? I'm reminded of the phrase 'equity will not assist a volunteer' but my Equity and Trusts education was a while back now and I'm honestly not sure how much that phrase applies here...

-AP

Middle Temple festivities

I'm back from a weekend of fun at Middle Temple, a few days of music, food, lots of free port and lectures of varying quality. The first night was absolutely fantastic, phenomenal food (although I'm still unsure as to whether it was actually chicken, it looked too nice to be chicken) but the highlight has to have been King Masco. King Masco is the leader of a traditional West African band, and a troupe of gyrating ladies, so from the outset it's clear that there's going to be fun all around. After a couple of songs we were all invited to join the dance floor which, fuelled by vast quantities of free wine and port, was happily obliged. The king was great, getting us all joining in with the traditional dance moves (moves that, should you perform in a regular club, make you look like a deeply disturbed sexual offender) but that didn't matter. Even the benchers were involved, poor old master treasurer seemed to be struggling though.

The only real problem over the weekend, however, was the porter. I've no idea why, but he seemed compelled to act like a total douche by being deliberately obtuse. He rather forcefully lectured one guy who'd left his ticket behind on how that wouldn't be accepted if it was a brief and he was in court. There really was no call for it, fact of the matter is it wasn't court and he's not even a lawyer anyway. What made it worse was that he'd said to the guy in the morning that it was ok, so I really cannot understand the change in behaviour. That's not even the most ridiculous thing which he did. He'd tried to get one other guy to call him 'sir' and then at the end says "it doesn't matter what you call me. Call me Barry for all I care"; so why make a fuss about it? Completely unnecessary bellendish behaviour.

That aside, a fantastic weekend. Thoroughly enjoyed it and can't wait to get back for some more QS's. There's no doubt about it, I have joined then best Inn.

 

-AP

Week two, half way through

Well, we've finally started on the advocacy here at the BVC. It took a while, but it's here. Sort of. We were questioning Humpty Dumpty, a tad patronising, but we had a laugh and I guess. It does get you accustomed to the techniques. It's a nice taster of what's to come, and I can't wait to dive headfirst into the advocacy course proper. What's pretty nifty is the rest of the sessions from now until the end are going to be held at the old Guild Hall here, which is where the old assize courts were heard back in t'day.



A thought did occur to me during this advocacy introduction – my success at the BVC in fact has a lot to do with the seminar group I'm a part of. It's a great group, and we all get on really well, but a couple of other groups don't seem to gel as well from what I've heard. If you don't gel, I imagine you won't enjoy the advocacy as much and naturally won't do as well as if you did enjoy it. Being in a group you gel with could be the difference between competent, very competent or outstanding.

I’m a trend sheep, baa!

Having just read stupidgirl_no1's recent blog post I thought I'd take the time out of the monotony of Opinion Writing (on contract! Yuk!) to fill in this little Q&A. I have no idea where it originated from, or where it will go, but I'll credit Woodsiegirl, JennieLaw and InformationOverlord.

Do you snack while you read? If so, favourite reading snack?

Anything. It's usually coffee. Not a snack, but it's always consumed when reading. If not, SuperNoodles or a sandwich.

Do you tend to mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in books horrify you?

Of course I do. The sanctity of the book is an utterly ridiculous idea. You don't need to treat it like a god, the content is the same dog-eared or not.

How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears? Laying the book flat open?

Dog ears, random bits of paper, banana peel...whatever's at hand.

Fiction, Non-fiction, or both?

Fiction, usually.

Hard copy or audiobooks?

I don't know if it counts as an audio-book per se, but I do love the HitchHickers Guide to the Galaxy Radio series. Aside from that, hard copy and the odd PDF.

Are you a person who tends to read to the end of chapters, or are you able to put a book down at any point?

Wherever, I'm easily distracted by thoughts of food, drink, what's outdoors, pornography, another book. This makes it very hard to get back into a book. Especially after the pornography.

If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop to look it up right away?

At home, yes, if I'm on a train I'll nod along and keep up the pretence that I know what I'm reading. Under no circumstances will I approach a stranger and ask if they know what it means. That could lead down any number of unforeseen conversational routes I'd rather avoid.

What are you currently reading?

Douglas Adam's The Meaning of Liff. I'd highly recommend it. Not a typical book. It's a kind of faux-dictionary. He's taken all those words that hang around on signposts that have no meaning (i.e. Place Names) and attribute them to things which we're all familiar with, but which have no definition in the OED. Examples include:

CLUNES (pl.n.)
People who just won't go

CORRIEARKLET (n.)
The moment at which two people approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognise each other and immediately pretend they haven't. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognising each other the whole length of the corridor.

ELY (n.)
The first, tiniest inkling you get that something, somewhere, has gone terribly wrong

To name but a few. BUY IT NOW!

What is the last book you bought?

Alice in Wonderland, Penguin Classic's Edition. I bought it in preparation for the Tim Burton adaptation coming up. It's actually quite poor, I fund the introductory notes about Lewis Carroll's possible paedophilia to be much more entertaining.

Are you the type of person that only reads one book at a time or can you read more than one at a time?

I tend to accidentally read more than one and very rarely read just one, on its own, start to finish. I've had a copy of 1984 going for a few years now, it really is quite an achievement.

Do you have a favourite time of day and/or place to read?

Bed, or when I do actually have something better to do.

Do you prefer series books or stand alone books?

Stand alones are fine, but I do love a good series. The Hitchhikers Guide as you can guess from my previous answers is my favourite. Douglas Adams was taken from us far too soon. L

Is there a specific book or author that you find yourself recommending over and over?

See above.

How do you organize your books? (By genre, title, author's last name, etc.?)

My organisation is very simple, very effective, and easy to learn. Put it wherever there's space. Works like a charm. Until you have to find the book again, but when you're done with it what're the chances anyway?

 

A view from my Nottingham Roost

Well, my first week in Nottingham has finished in a flash. There's been a lot to take in, both socially and "professionally". I put that in air quotes because we've have it drummed into us from the start that the BVC is not the last year of out student lives, but the first year of our professional lives. That's somewhat true, however taking into account a couple of nights which involved a lot of alcohol and some very unprofessional conduct I can say that this is only partially true. It's certainly got a much more mature atmosphere than Uni had, but outside of working hours we're all still hanging on to our last chance to be students even if the party line is that we're now professionals.

The process of settling in was a breeze. Having already gone through it at Uni, I knew exactly what to expect and what I needed to do to make this a very enjoyable time. That horrible gut wrenching feeling you first get when your parents drop you off at Uni and you realise you're now on your own was completely a thing of the past. Within a day, I already felt like I was in a true home from home. I've got quite a smashing view of the city, should be ample opportunity for some nice nightscape photos at some point.

Although, I don't think there's been a single day go by that a police car hasn't shot right down my street. I really hope I don't get to see 'Shottingham' live up to its name.

Overall, it's safe to say these Plawtridge is happily nested, and not feeling that urge to fly back south to Norwich any time soon.

I hope to update the look of my blog soon, so if anyone's got any great tips I'd love to hear them – alan.plawtridge at googlemail dot com

Tax deductible porn? Nipple clamps!?

A US tax laywer has failed in his claim to deduct a whopping $111,364 from his tax liability for money spent on therapeutic sex. This is porn addiction on a whole new level, and the guy even spent $42k on prostitutes? My personal favourite details is the claim on nipple clamps which is a complete first, apparently. Has no one told him that you can get porn for free on the internet and meet people in bars and clubs for the cost of a few pints and maybe some of your dignity? It completely dwarfs Jacqui Smith's husband's expenses claims for two measly porn films totalling a mind boggling £10! Come on Britain, step up the sleaze. It's embarrassing.

We just get put to shame on the international scandals scale. Claims for grouting? Houses for ducks? It's child's play. Remember the Belgian politician, Tania Derveaux, who offered to give 40,000 blow jobs?



In our defence though, I can't think of a single politician in Britain who could successfully pull off that pose...

-AP

Psychic Spies and Atheists

I'm a big fan of Derren Brown and I've been lucky enough to get tickets to see him live. Unfortunately, it's in Ipswich and not Norwich but I can forgive him for that. Unfortunately I didn't manage to 'remote view' but, nonetheless, his latest show was very entertaining especially towards the end. As an aside, did anyone notice the adverts he claims to have placed in the daily papers which influenced us to draw the concentric circles? In his blog entry he's linked to a video of Richard Dawkins. Unlike Brown, I am not a big fan of Dawkins. He's a pompous git. Now I may be biased because I'm agnostic leaning towards Christian but this guy really grates my cheese. The utter intolerance he exhibits is as bad as the intolerance he accuses believers of, and yet he seems oblivious to this hypocrisy.

Anyway, I'll get to the point of my post. He's written a new book called 'The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution.' My only reaction to this is – what is the point? Does he somehow believe he's made some great discovery? Some scientific breakthrough? There's no call for it. We all know evolution pretty much happened. We all know creationists have it wrong. We don't need a book 150 years after The Origin of Species telling us that the Origin of Species had it right. Look at his video here. He claims that he wants to create some sort of educational revolution by curing the 40% of the US who don't believe in education. Good luck. I can pretty much assure you they won't be buying this book. Just let evolution take it's course and these people will eventually drop out of the gene pool anyway.

Considering his target audience, this to me seems to be the equivalent of stumbling into an off-license blind drunk and proclaiming to all inside that alcohol is really bloody good, and highly recommending that they take it up. Now take your brown bag of liquor and sit in the corner. You're not big. You're not clever. What Dan Brown is to fiction writing, Richard Dawkins is to atheist-scientific writing.



-AP

Aha!

Welcome to the blog of Alan Plawtridge, a Norwich Law student (not born but) bred, currently struggling in the rough waters of pupillage applications and bar school. This is just a cursory post to check everything is in order, and hopefully, soon, my blog will begin to swell with details of my life. Not literally, that would be hideous.

Here is a test image.



©BBC